The One Key That Makes or Breaks Your Self-Improvement Journey
Oberservations from the Growth and Failures of Countless Mastermind Participants
Work harder!
I still read this crazy advice a lot.
When you decide to make a big change and create something that takes a lot of effort, when you decide to become a better version of yourself, you will encounter those who preach that you have to work harder.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Yes, building something meaningful takes effort.
Yes, it takes discipline. Especially in the beginning, when you have to act against the feelings that you have become used to.
But working hard consistently will simply burn you out.
And when you are burnt out—your journey is over.
Building something meaningful also takes courage, consistency, and creativity.
And when you burn all the fuel by constantly working at maximum capacity, you will not be consistent and creative. It is simply not possible.
The Same Also Goes for Personal Growth
Working on yourself.
Integrating your shadows.
Mastering your emotions.
This deep work also needs a huge amount of effort.
Depending on your history and the constitution of your nervous system, you will have to write, meditate, do breathwork, and or have other practices.
And you will not be able to constantly be in practice. That would also burn you out and then you would be one of the resentful humans out there who run around preaching how all form of self-help is garbage and a trap and you will fall back into all your hedonistic behaviors that didn’t fulfill you, but at least made you forget that you are not fulfilled.
What To Do Instead
Instead, be smart about it:
Find the few practices that work for you and implement them into your day in a reasonable fashion.
Some people want to make all kinds of practices every day. I have encountered this a lot in the mastermind sessions that I lead:
When it comes to defining the goals they pursue and the behavior that they commit to, they list a huge number of things. It could be something like this:
No Porn/Masturbation
No social media
No coffee after 12 am
Swimming/Running + Gym (weekly)
Sauna (weekly)
Martial Arts Training (weekly)
Ice bath (daily)
Morning & Evening routine
Reading (daily)
Habit tracker (daily)
Meditation (daily)
This is not doable for a normal human being living in modern society with a normal job!
Or better said: It is possible, and it might be a great lifestyle, but when you are currently in a situation in your life where you can not stick to your commitments, setting out to do a whole bunch of hard things is not going to help.
This is leading to overwhelm, and I have seen people doing it again and again.
Instead, choose a few things that you believe could make a difference and try to do them consistently for one month.
If you want to quit social media binge watching, for example, only focus on replacing it with meditation for one month.
If you manage to do that, you will have gained a huge amount of confidence and energy that you can then use to tackle the next step.
Don’t Forget to Sleep
When we get onto a path of self-improvement, we tend to start measuring ourselves against our imagined perfect selves.
That is doing a lot of harm and is not helping.
It is leading to a constant feeling of falling behind. Of not having done enough.
And this may lead to us sacrificing our sleep.
Let me tell you. This is not a good idea!
The deep rest we get during sleep—we only get it during sleep.
There is no other form of resting that can replace it.
Consistent quality sleep is what gives us the basis we need to do all the hard work of healing and to be able to show up with the right intentions and quality of being daily.
What It All Comes Down to in The End
The success of your self-improvement journey is not defined by what you do and how much of it you do.
It is defined by how often you can show up with courage and the right intentions.
Courage means acting from the heart.
It means being vulnerable when you want to hide.
It means risking experiencing the judgment of others. Even of those whom you value highly.
The success of your self-improvement journey is dependent on your ability to bear the truth.
And only a well-rested warrior is capable of that.
Do you want more fulfillment and finally be able to master yourself?
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